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my mom’s pink tree peonies

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my mom meeting thairin. she had a hard time understanding there are no cars involved with his show drag race. 

I booked a plane ticket to Oaxaca and Mexico City. This means I’m going to Oaxaca and Mexico City!!! My mother asked me if I want to be a sex slave for the rest of my life. She’s nervous about my travels. I’m not. I’ll be with Andrew.

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i knew it

i knew i was going to be really into downton abbey. my mother loves pbs and i had no doubt that she had already seen them all when i inquired last night. she perked up and gave me a lively plot summary. i one mored 3 episodes last night.  i’m turning into her, i’m sure of it! oh god.

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cats weren’t even part of the plan when i made this corkboard about 4 years ago. now they’ve commandeered it and i guess i’m fine with it. i ran into an old friend while i was out the other night drinking chimay (when am i ever going to learn that me n chimay don’t mix?) and i was telling him how my mother is always telling me not to tell potential beaus i have cats. i’m always telling her, oops too late. anyway, my old friend said not to lead with cats and that made me laugh.

"I hate to break it to you, there are a lot of people working in education that are not that bright."

there goes my mom, nailing it as usual.

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my mom picked this amazing bag up for me at an estate sale across the street from our house in virginia. it belonged to lady phyllis, my longtime neighbor who recently had to be put in a nursing home. my mom and i were both really sad about people trolling through her things. lady phyllis was something else. her entire house was decorated in pink and she even went so far as to put up a pink santa claus every year. i was probably in high school when i figured out lady was her first name; not her title. her husband chauffeured her around in a black cadillac until he passed away. it was only then that she started driving and terrifying doesn’t even describe the idea of her out on the road. she once drove on the washington and old dominion bike path. my mother and i had so many misgivings about the sale, but ultimately i decided that if lady phyllis had chanel, she’d want one of us to have it. mama also bought her pink tools which i think is awesome.

"but wanting some guy to marry you who doesn’t want to sucks. make yourself available for the dude who does. don’t cockblock yourself with the wrong dude."

Alissa, this was sage advice not meant for either of us. We’re too awesome for that shit. It was for someone who isn’t ready to hear it yet. Similar to something my mom told me once which was “the wrong dude can ruin your life.” 

cinq a sept

Pronounced “sank-ah-set” a Quebec French term that literally means five to seven. The point is that I’m ready for happy hour with my friends. Today I’m wearing one of the tops I bought for the Women in Audiology conference. The agenda is interesting, it’s in Hollywood and I need the CEUs. I like the idea of a conference about empowering women in audiology and teaching balance. It’s kind of the opposite of the American work ethic that has people killing themselves just to get by. This guy says there is no such thing as having it all so we should stop setting ourselves up for disappointment. I agree.”Any vision of success has to admit what it’s losing out on.”  An all women audiology conference makes me laugh (slash cry on the inside) because I wasn’t aware there were any men in audiology. About zero to one time per year there is an actual hot dude in my office, it’s either the ENT or the electroacoustics guy. Our tympanometer is broken, but they’re not sending the cute one to fix it. I guess it should be enough that I was wearing my Diane Sawyer pumps and my favorite blazer on the one day he popped into my office unannounced a couple months ago. The truth is, I like working in a field where I don’t have to compete with men. I work with some smart cookies and I look up to them. My mom says I got lucky because of her. That I got good Karma because she was such a good mentor to the younger teachers she worked with. I think she might be right. I’m more lucky because she’s my mom I think. Seriously, my mom is so fucking awesome and cool and laid back. I tried calling her today, but she’s at a Huey Lewis and the News concert. 

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thank goodness my neighbor mike lets me use his stoop. that old sink had to go as a planting spot. originally, i rooted my honeysuckles there, but it doesn’t drain well. i removed the soil in order to store broken pottery shards, rocks and bricks. Those are used to cover the hole at the bottom of the planters or to help make the plumeria stand up straight.

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birthday presents! i heart my library! i also super heart hello kitty earmuffs, hand knit kitchen towels and blue nail polish named ‘suzi says feng shui.’ big ups to my mother and to nora for such thoughtful gifts. 

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“oh god”

my mother said oh god just like ethan hawke said oh god in the audiobook version of slaughterhouse five. he was reading the voice of barbara, billy pilgrim’s daughter when she is exasperated by his tralfamadore escapades. mama was basically telling me to shut up when she said “oh god.” then she said, “i just can’t handle it. in june, i’m going to be 69 and i don’t care about any of this.” HA! ohmygoodness, i so know how my mom feels because sometimes i’m the same way. like, i just can’t deal with whatever it is and i want it to go away now. like when things are really barfy or just annoying or totally uninteresting. OH GOD.

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imagine my surprise when my Jewish cats sent me an Easter card.