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glittrbug:

You’re all monsterating!

Phil:	If it does, it will be the second most embarrasing thing to happen to our family today.
Claire:	Phil, you said it wasn't that bad.
Phil:	That was in the car we're in a church now.

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my observations on bad teacher

• starring cameron diaz’s lipstick.
• i too work at a jams, you know, john adams middle school. 
• abbyjean likes jason segal as jason segal in all of his movies. agreed. 
• i laugh a lot when comedies make fun of teachers. kenny powers does this brilliantly in eastbound and down. 
• justin timberlake could not act his way out of a paper bag. 
• also, cameron from modern family is in this movie and he’s awesome in it.

"You know what Mitchell, just go to work, okay? I’m going to take Lily to school and then when I get home, I’m going to scrub this place like a crime scene which it is because you’ve murdered joy."

Cameron

"You know what? I do wanna do some unloading. I know your type. Life has been bad to you it has made you feel small and then one day somebody gives you a fake cop outfit, a toy badge and a little spongebob tie and suddenly it’s payback time, right? I got news for you Law and Order Special Parking Unit (rips up ticket) not my fault."

Claire Dunphy

gloria:	manny think of this in a positive way, like it is your haha moment.
manny:	what does that mean?
gloria:	that means that one day you are going to laugh about it.

"we’re not the only two monkeys with a panda."

Cameron, Modern Family

"no, not at all. i’m adopting…ahhh!(hand clap)…a tolerant attitude towards your flights of lunacy."

Mitchell, Modern Family

"what were they doing? whatever it was, it looked like dad was winning."

Luke Dunphy

"Why do I have to watch a French movie? I didn’t do anything wrong."

Phil Dunphy

"I wish I was one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life, you know bruce wayne, peter parker, hannah montana."

Phil Dunphy

holleewoodworld:

Alex: So dumb guys go for dumb girls and smart guys go for dumb girls? What do smart girls get?

Phil: Cats, mostly.

(Source: holleewoodworld)

"if it was easy everyone would be popular."

Haley Dunphy on Modern Family

She’s echoing the sentiment that Alissa conveyed to me some time ago. Being awesome ain’t easy. Heck no, it ain’t. If it were, everyone would be awesome.